Chasing daylight...

These two words have been stuck in my head since I flew to Seattle a couple of weekends ago. We were the last flight out (on Southwest) for the evening and you could tell the crew was tired and ready for the day to be over. As we were climbing the pilot came over the speaker to tell us about the weather, flying time, etc and made a comment about chasing the light (or something to that effect) and I thought it was really interesting for him to point that out. And seeing as I always try to snag a window seat if possible...it was cool to watch us fly towards the sunset on the horizon. Knowing that a couple of days later we would conversely be flying towards the darkness.

I really don't know what it was that fascinated me so much. It's definitely not the first time I've been on a flight where we crossed time zones and chased daylight. Maybe it was the fact that the captain thought it was important enough to point out, or maybe I was trying to apply it to my own life. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Trying t0 figure out if somehow I was chasing the daylight or the darkness. Or neither.

It's a weird idea to conceptualize into your life. We all want to think we're chasing the daylight obviously. In some way at least. For in daylight everything seems more clear...or perhaps just less scary. Because in the darkness lies the unknown. And that can be scary. Kind of like being without a job for 5 months.

So here I am...chasing daylight...trying not to be swallowed by darkness. And it's hard. For so long work was my life...and on one hand things haven't changed much b/c I spend most of my days looking for a job...but on the other hand things are very different. I had a routine...a schedule (sort of)...people I loved working with...clients that had grown on me...yet was stuck in a job I wasn't crazy about. I was standing in the daylight. Well maybe it was only partly sunny. But you get the idea. Then all of a sudden my world became dark. Or maybe cloudy and rainy is a better way to say it. And trying to navigate through that has been a tough challenge for me.

I think the worst part is the waiting. Waiting to see if a company will choose my resume out of the hundreds they receive...waiting to see if I can make it past a phone interview...waiting to hear back from an in person interview...just all this waiting. And what's even worse is the fact that companies don't even bother to let you know they've gone with someone else after they've gotten your hopes up.

That's where I am right now...waiting...again. Still on the edge of darkness...but facing towards the light. Staying hopeful that the right job is out there on the horizon.