I know this blog is a little out of order from the last post, but I feel like I really need to recap the past year in my life (and the lives that impact mine the most). And I really like the way Beth (sister) recapped their year...but I don't have a lot of pictures nor a timeline really, so I guess words will have to do.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
This has been my life verse for years, and I find no matter what is going on, it always brings me a certain amount of comfort. It's a constant reminder that God's plans for my life are so much greater than anything I could imagine. And I think for the first time in quite a while, it really hit home this past year.
2009 started off better than I expected with one of my best friends getting engaged (to another great friend of mine). This joyful celebration was soon followed by the very exciting news that I was going to be an aunt for the first time! Things just seemed to be going really well. I was beyond thrilled with all of the momentous life events unfolding around me. And so grateful to be a part of them. I loved picking out bridesmaid dresses online and laughing about funny wedding things and especially shopping for cute baby clothes and toys in preparation to spoil my first neice or nephew absolutely rotten.
But it wasn't long after that my world came crashing down around me. (Sidenote: it may be a little bumm-y from here on down)
It was never a part of my plans to be forced out of the only job I've ever known and into the depressing world that is unemployment.
It was never a part of my plans to lose a sweet friend in such a tragic way and much too soon.
It was never a part of my plans to watch my sister and brother in law experience such heartache and loss.
The funny thing about all of those statements is they all revolve around me and my plans. Which is how we always think things work right? Not so much. It is really humbling to be reminded that we're not in control of any of it. Humbling and eye opening.
The middle of 2009 is all kind of a blur as I look back on it now. It all seemed to happen so fast. And yet so slow at the same time. There was so much hurt and loss and sadness. But I think throughout it all, there was always hope. And faith. Hope that things would get better and faith that everything was happening with a purpose. Sometimes it's just hard to see it. You get so overcome with the negative things going on, it is easy to miss the positives.
I like to look at it this way...if I hadn't gotten laid off, I never would have been able to spend time with my family when we all needed it the most. If I hadn't experienced my sister losing a perfect little baby, I wouldn't be able to appreciate how precious and delicate life really is. If I hadn't moved home, I wouldn't have reconnected with old friends. The list really goes on and on.
And then it started to get better. Slowly. My friends got married in September. I moved back to Texas in November. My sister found out she is pregnant again. And finally I got a job.
That was pretty much my year in a nutshell. It started and ended well, but the middle was rough. And honestly I don't know that I would change any of it. I feel like everything I've been through this year has truly made me into a better and stronger person. It has solidified (and tested) my faith in more ways than I thought possible. So as I put 2009 behind me and look forward to 2010...I know that no matter what God has in store for me, I am ready for it.
So now I leave you with this quote...
"She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too..." Hope Floats
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